And I Wonder Why No One Wants To Go….

An email exchange between a friend of mine & your’s truly yesterday afternoon:

Friend:   hey hooker. what are you doing tomorrow night?  (ed. = hooker is a term of endearment.  really.)

Me:   Tomorrow is going to be a doozy!  Blessed & I am hitting the tattoo shop on our way to Warner Robins to meet up with our other friend from college, Boones, to celebrate her birthday at this hell hole Wild Bill’s wannabe place that cracks me up as much as it frightens me.  Wanna come along?

Me:  I mean, how could you POSSIBLY turn down an invite composed like that?

Me:  And there is tonight too!  YOU just have to come out with me!

Me:  I could just kidnap you.  I DO know where you live.  Okay, I know what neighborhood and street you live on.  I can’t remember which house.  So it’ll take a few false starts (aka failed door knocking), but then you’d totally be kidnapped.  So yeah…

Friend:  hahaha! you crack me up! I think I’m gonna dig in at the house tonight girl.  Still feeling pretty blah! (ed. notice how she tried to distract me with compliments)

Me:  I’m getting the impression you doubt my kidnapping skillz.

Friend:  no I dont doubt that at all!

Me:  So you won’t let me kidnap you for tonight or tomorrow night?  What’s going on tomorrow?  I mean, there was a reason you were asking, right?  Or were you just asking to ask?  Because, seriously?  That’s weird.

Friend:  Actually I was just asking to ask! I figured you had something going on!  And No kidnapping this weekend. I think I am getting a cold on top of the massive pain in the lower region! lord help me!

Me:  You know what is good for a cold?  Whiskey.  And guess what?  Both destinations this weekend carry mass quantities of whiskey.  Hell, the wannabe place tomorrow night is even named Whiskey River.  So, obviously it is meant to be.

Friend:  ugh! I hate whiskey! no way. but you have fun and be safe!

Me:  Yes, that’s it.  Think nothing will happen.  No need to look over your shoulder.  That knocking you’ll hear around your house?  Ignore it.  It’ll just be the wind…

Friend:  hahaha! okie dokie. I think I might go stay at the parents! hehehe!

Obviously my persuasion skills need to be touched up somewhat.

*UPDATE*  Seems we won’t be traveling to the horrific place after all.  Boones is sick.  What shall I get myself into instead?